


Caring For You

by makingitwork



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: AU, Bullying, Eventual Sex, Foster Care, Happy Ending, Hickeys, I swear, Jealousy, M/M, Slash, Smut Eventually, Underage - Freeform, all consensual, everyone's a teenager!, male/male relationship, mentions of abuse, perhaps slightly underage here and there, possessive, protecting, relationships, teenage AU!, there'll be more tags probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:56:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makingitwork/pseuds/makingitwork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer Reid is 14 years old, and is being placed into a foster care facility. </p><p>His new roommate; 16 year old Derek Morgan. </p><p>He's pretty much screwed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Barely Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm falling apart...I'm barely breathing...with a broken heart...that's still beating...

"Spencer," Jean beamed down at the young boy, her eyes sparkling with sympathy as she led him towards the normal looking house "Everyone's very excited to meet you,"

Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his satchel thumping against his leg. The 14 year old swallowed thickly, his hair reached down to the middle of his ear, and he kept tucking it behind them, but one unruly lock curled around his left eye. "A-are they? Why?"

"New member to the family," Jean said softly, opening the door. The house looked more like a larger than normal cottage, and the sun was beaming down. it was nice, Spencer figured, for a foster home. All the books he'd read portrayed them as horrible places. This looked wonderful. Well, anything would be wonderful compared to his old home. Where his mother lost her mind every few days, and he went weeks without proper food. She led him through the kitchen, and then the dining room, where 7 children, ages ranging. "Everyone!" Jean, the happy ginger beamed "Meet Spencer!"

Spencer immediately looked down at the ground, uncomfortable, face heating. 

Jean placed a hand on his neck, squeezing reassuringly, and Spencer was again pleased, that she was nothing like the fairy tales had prepared him for. She was nice. Caring. "Everyone, introduced yourself,"

Spencer peered up through his hair to see them. A tall, muscled guy, maybe about 17, definitely the oldest there, with black, spiked hair and vivid green eyes "I'm Aaron," he gave a lopsided smile "I'm 17." He frowned for a moment "I like football?" The Italian looking boy beside him laughed, rolling his eyes and pulling him down as he stood. 

"I'm David. Call me Dave though, I'm 17, and I don't know...I like writing? Do we really need to name something we like, Jean? Does he even care about what we like?" Jean chuckled softly, but rolled her eyes. Dave was shorter than Aaron, but he definitely had a personality, Spencer managed a small smile. 

And then a dark skinned guy stood up, he was muscled too, like Hotch, shaven head and perfect smile, dark eyes. "'Sup man? I'm Derek Morgan, and I like kicking Aaron's ass at football."

"Come at me, Derek," Aaron murmured under his breath, rolling his eyes. 

"And it's even more embarrassing for him because I'm 16," Derek teased, turning to the bubbly blonde girl who dressed incredibly colourfully "Isn't that right, baby girl?"

"Mmhmm," she grinned, smiling at Spencer "Hey there," she beamed "I'm Penelope! Call me Penny, Garcia, gorgeous kitten, whatever you like," her eyes glittered blue, and the pure kindness in them made Spencer look back down at the ground again, any smile that had been there before was gone. Garcia frowned "Hey, it's alright. I'm 16. I like...computers, I guess. I like writing programmes and java scrip's. Algorithms." 

Spencer looked up at that, brown eyes wide, and he tucked his hair behind his ear "A-algorithms?"

Garcia nodded, blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders "Yeah kid, you like that?"

He nodded, swallowing "I wrote one for SNCPP,"

Her eyebrows raised "Where you use restriction codes to unlock hackers webs?"

"Yeah, that was me," he flushed, looking down and the other teenagers glanced at each other. 

"Another genius in the house?" Jean teased, "You two'll get along just fine."

Spencer looked down at the ground again. He wasn't sure about this. Penelope's eyes were too happy, too bright. Unlike anything he had ever seen before in his life, and he couldn't shake the feeling that eyes so happy shouldn't be looking at him. After all, they hadn't ever before. Why start now? "I'm JJ," a pretty blonde smiled "I'm 16, and I like soccer. But I refuse to play those guys," she pointed at David who shrugged with a smirk "They don't play fair."

"I'm Emily," said the last girl, with long black hair, slightly curving into ringlets, she had a kind smile, dark brown eyes "17, and I...like everything really? Only thing I don't like is politics."

"Yes Emily," Jean sighed "We're all aware of your hatred for politics." She turned to Spencer "Honey? Why don't you properly introduce yourself?"

Spencer swallowed thickly, eyes trained on the floor, as he admired the fibres and the colours, everything about this place screamed happy, when surely it should be the complete opposite? "I'm uh...Sp-Spencer Reid. I-I'm 14. I like reading, anything really." He gripped his satchel "I don't really like technology very much," he shot a small glance to Garcia who was smiling gently, he turned to Jean, a silent plea for that to be enough. She nodded, sighing slightly

"Alright honey, you're sharing a room with Derek, want him to show you around?"

Spencer looked up to see Derek, handsome and muscled "No." He whispered, shaking his head violently "I don't want too." And his voice cracked with fear, Jean was beside him in a second, and the teenagers sat up on the sofa, worried. "C-can, y-you show me around?" he pointed to David. The guy closest his shorter height, his eyes were the darkest and showed least emotion. Spencer could tell he was happy here, but it was less obvious that anyone else.

The Italian boy's eyes raised, and everyone else looked just as surprised, but he shrugged, standing "Sure, kid, let's go," and Spencer followed him upstairs.

Jean sighed, hands on her hips "He's a little shy, I guess,"

"14?" Aaron frowned "What happened to his parents?"

"Oh, his father left when he was young, and a last week his mother was found guilty of neglect. Poor mental state. The poor dear," she sighed, "I know you'll do everything you can to make him feel welcome." 

...  
...  
...

"That," David gestured to the large purple door "Is the girls rooms. Shared by Emily, JJ and Garcia. Beware, never go in there," his voice took on a haunted tone "No one's ever come out alive," Spencer cracked a small smile, and David grinned triumphantly "It's also the biggest room. I think it might be purple but..." he shrugged "And another thing, Penny's computers make so much noise at night. Best get headphones or something," He led them to the next door, opening it "I share this with Aaron."

The room was neat, two beds on either side, a large desk, with two seats, a small bathroom near the back, and a large window "How long have you been here?" Spencer asked quietly

"About 2 years," he led him out of the room and towards Derek's, swinging it open, there was an unmade bed in one corner, and an unused one on the other. It was a nice size, posters all along one wall. "Derek used to room with Jason, but he turned 18 about 4 months ago, he left, got a job, an apprenticeship or something. He wanted to be a psychologist." David watched the young boy set his satchel on the bed, opened it and pulled out an encyclopaedia. He clutched it to his sweater vest, hair falling in his eyes and he shook slightly 

"Can I go outside and read?" he asked quietly. David nodded, pointing the direction, watching Spencer leave. His own black curls falling into his forehead, he headed back downstairs.

...  
...  
...

"What the hell was that about?" Derek grumbled, as he watched JJ and Aaron play on the playstation. "What? I'm not good enough to show him around?"

"Don't be so big headed," Emily rolled her eyes "It wasn't about you. He's scared. You're like the muscled ball of testosterone Morgan, sorry if he doesn't want you grabbing him by the shoulder and showing him around,"

"I like him," Garcia smiled "He's adorable."

"He's skinny." Aaron corrected, a frown on his face, fingers moving on the controller "Really skinny. Like...malnourished skinny."

"Well that was something else." David sighed as he walked back into the living room, he slid onto the floor beside Garcia, they turned to him

"Where's the kid?" Morgan asked

"He went outside. To read."

Everyone turned to look outside, and JJ almost laughed; "But it's raining?"

"I know." David gave them a pointed look, "I think he's crazy. Trust it to be Morgan with the crazy roommate,"

"Shut up," Morgan grumbled "Anyone's an improvement on Gideon, he told me why I snored and why I leave all my homework to last minute. Enough is enough, you know? I don't really wanna know why I do stuff like that," he sighed, resting his head against the sofa "Do you think the kid's hoping he'll be adopted?"

"Won't be hard for him," Aaron leaned back too, surrendering to JJ's skill. "Young, small, not needy. A genius. If he charms them at the interview, I think he could get it,"

"Not what I asked," Morgan sighed, massaging his temples "I asked if he was hoping to get adopted?"

"No." Emily said softly "I don't think he wants to. Just a feeling,"

...  
...  
...

Dinner was like normal. 

With Jean sitting at the head of the table, and then four of them on one side, three on the other. Hotch, then Emily, then Garcia, then Spencer. And on the other side, was David, JJ, and Morgan. So Spencer was the only person without someone opposite him. Jean contemplated moving him to sit at the other head of the table, so he could be more involved, but then figured he probably wouldn't like the attention. 

The food was delicious, but Aaron and David were more interested in chucking it at each other, while JJ and Emily discussed how immature they were, Morgan and Garcia was flirting insanely, making each other laugh, and then teasing. Spencer ate quietly, marvelling in the hot food. He finished quietly, and Jean's voice drifted across the table "Would you like some more, Spencer?"

"I'm sorry." He said quickly, a reflex, and the table quieted curiously "I'm really sorry, I didn't realise, I can-" his words were gushed, choking over each other in the stumble to get out of his mouth "I was just really hungry, and I'm sorry," his eyes watered, cheeks in flames, wringing his hands painfully "I-"

"Spencer, honey," Jean was getting out of her seat, rushing to his side, kneeling beside him and rubbing his arms "It's alright, no, it's a good thing, don't worry," Spencer sniffed, swallowing thickly "I was just offering you more, you're thin, honey, you need food to grow, you know?" Spencer smiled, though it was watery. His voice was quiet 

"May I be excused from the table?" he asked, Jean nodded, slightly lost for words, and he was gone, taking his plate to clean. Aaron growled lowly and everyone turned to face him. 

"What's up man?" Morgan frowned

"What would Jason say if he was still here?"

"That the kid's super sensitive?" Dave guessed, shrugging as he ate his own pasta

"No," Aaron sighed "His mom didn't let him finish his food. She probably yelled at him if he did, I told you before, he's too thin."

"Starving him?" Garcia whispered, voice breaking "Why would anyone do that to someone so adorable?"

"Guys," Jean warned, shaking her head "No making assumptions. Now come on, eat up, there's apple pie waiting."

...  
...  
...

Derek jumped upon entering his room a few hours later, he'd been by himself for so long, to see the other side of the room in use was odd. 

Spencer was sitting cross legged on the bed, the covers had been changed from white to dark blue, and there was a periodic table on the wall, as well as a picture of man with white hair that Derek didn't recognise. A mountain of books in the corner. Derek closed the door gently, and Spencer looked up, before looking down again "Hello," he said politely. 

"Hey, kid," Morgan sighed, heading to the closet, he opened it, to see a few clothes on the other side. Mostly sweater vests, shirts and jeans, though there were a few cardigans. He chanced a look in the bathroom, to see a towel added to the heater, another toothbrush, and a comb. He let his shoulders sag, the kid was neat. Though he should have been able to guess that. Wandering back into the bedroom, he sat on his bed, looking at Spencer. The kid felt his gaze, and his cheeks heated as he set down his book, looking up at Morgan "Are you alright, kid?"

"Yes,"

"Nothing you wanna talk about?"

"No."

"Well then," Derek shrugged "We should go to bed," 

Spencer nodded, and got changed in the bathroom, as Morgan got changed in the bedroom. Spencer came out in matching, baby blue pyjamas, but he looked so young, Derek didn't have the courage to laugh at him. He slept in his boxers, he found he got really hot at night. Spencer got into his bed, nestling right beside the wall, pillows almost barricading him. "Derek?" he asked quietly, Derek paused, his hand on the lightswitch "I'm...I'm scared of the dark."

Morgan couldn't help it, he sighed, irritated. Really? Fucking fantastic. A roommate, two years younger than him, obviously a nerd with some issues, who was now afraid of the dark. Spencer heard the anger in his exhalation and whimpered, terrified

"I'm sorry!" he cried, hiding his face in the pillows "You can turn it off- forget I asked!"

So weak. God. Spencer wasn't like everyone else here. Everyone else was strong. Morgan flipped the switch and the room was plunged into an unholy darkness. He ignored the sounds of Spencer's whimpering, and filled the room with his snoring instead.

...  
...  
...

"Get the fuck up." Aaron groaned, kicking at Morgan again, who just rolled away

"What?" he grumbled, letting himself be hauled up and blinking when some clothes were thrown at him. He turned to see Aaron, glaring at him

"Hurry up, Morgan." He sighed "You fucking selfish prat."

"Woah, woah, woah, what the hell is wrong?" Morgan asked, stumbling out of the bedroom, pulling on some faded jeans and a baggy grey shirt, he was hauled downstairs by Aaron, and gathered the others, everyone aside from Jean, in the kitchen doorway. 

"What the fuck is that?" Aaron hissed, shoving Morgan forward. The dark 16 year old shrugged out of Aaron grip, looking at the kitchen, when he saw him. 

Spencer, curled up beside the over, a thin blanket on his shoulders, curled up in the foetal position. "What the hell is he doing in here?" Morgan frowned, turning to see the others staring at him. Emily looked confused

"You didn't kick him out of your room?"

"No! God, why would I do something like that?"

"Then I don't understand," Dave sighed "Why would he come in here?"

It took a moment for Derek to realised, and he groaned when he did. They stared at him, waiting expectantly, and Derek had the nuance to look guilty "He said he was scared of the dark, but...I don't know, I was tired, I shut it off anyway. He must have come down here," they all glanced at the over, to see the automatic red numbers, a little burst of light, that was on all the time. Garcia felt something tug at her heart and stomach, her voice was sad

"He told you that and you still turned off the light?" she whispered. Derek looked at her pleadingly

"Baby girl, don't be like that. He said it was alright-"

Aaron was shoving Derek again, only this time, past time, and he scooped Spencer up into his strong arms, blanket and all "We're trading rooms." He announced, "Me and Spencer, Dave and Derek,"

"Fine." Derek glowered "You think you're in charge Hotch? Wanna boss us all about because you're the oldest, go ahead!" The girls exchanged a wary look "You wanna be friends with the freak, go ahead." He turned on the spot, "Kid fucking cries in his sleep anyway."

...  
...  
...

Derek glared at himself in the mirror a few minutes later, hatred radiating off him in waves. Hatred- at himself. When had he become that guy? The bully? That wasn't him. But then he remembered Carl, he remembered his abusive step father, he remembered him whispering into Derek's ear "Weakness, no Derek, never have a weakness. Even this now, what I'm doing. I'm only making you strong."

Strong. 

Spencer needed to be strong. He wasn't allowed to cry- Derek hadn't been allowed to cry! That wasn't fair! He washed his face harshly, blinking back tears.

Because he wasn't weak.

And if he kept at it, Spencer wouldn't be weak either.


	2. Broken Locks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Derek," Spencer pleads "Leadership isn't something for you and I to decide. It's something that a ghost lets linger because sometimes things need to stay behind."
> 
> "How can you speak so freely? How can you be weak enough to cry?" Morgan cries back "You've gone through the same crap as the rest of us!"
> 
> "You guys made me this free."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The broken locks were a warning...you got inside my head...

Derek opened the door, expression bored, and he stiffened when he saw Spencer standing there, looking at the ground "What?"

"I need to get my stuff," he said quietly "Move it into Aaron's room." Derek pushed the door open, and went back to his bed, where he was playing on his laptop. He watched through the corner of his eye as Spencer took the bed sheets, folding them carefully, sliding all of his books back into his nearly brimming satchel, he went to the wardrobe, getting his clothes, and then his toothbrush and comb. He peeled back the posters carefully, folding them up, and then he was ready, his arms full of extra books. Spencer hovered there for a moment, looking at Derek, "I'm sorry," he said honestly "About everything. I didn't want to be shown around by you because...I'm normally bullied by people as strong as you," 

Derek listened intently, but kept staring at his laptop. 

"I...I didn't wanna talk last night because...I know I'm not gonna be here very long. I'm sorry about the light comment. And I'm sorry if I kept you up." He waited a beat to see if Derek would say anything, but he didn't. So Spencer nodded, stomach coiling. "I hope I didn't just throw away any chance of friendship within 24 hours of meeting you," and then he was gone. 

Morgan was left alone in the room, guilt festering inside him. Great, now the kid could talk.

Dave sauntered into the room, not bothering to knock "Oy, lazy, get up, you're helping me move my stuff."

Derek groaned.

...  
...  
...

"Woah," Hotch grinned, as he helped Spencer stick up his poster "An IQ higher than this guy?" he pointed to the poster of Einstein "I'll have a poster of you on my wall someday, then," Spencer smiled, flushing. And they both hopped off the bed, looking around, everything was settled. "Don't worry about Derek," Aaron sighed, sitting on his bed, "You know, as far as backstories go around here, his is one of the worst."

"What happened?" Spencer asked quietly, sitting beside Aaron on his bed, looking up with large brown eyes. 

"He..." Aaron looked pained, and guilty for a moment "His stepfather abused him. His mother died, and it got worse. Way worse. He only managed to get away after he was put into hospital after the guy broke his arm."

"Oh my god," Spencer whispered, "I had no idea..."

"He can be pretty tough," Aaron sighed, turning his head slightly, and they both froze, not realising how close they were. Aaron smelt of soap and grass, Spencer smelt of coffee and paper. "Woah, Spencer," Aaron whispered, cool breath fanning the youngers face "I didn't even notice...you're kinda beautiful,"

Spencer flushed, "I'm not,"

"No," Aaron placed his fingers under Spencer's chin, examining his face and his eyes "You are." He leaned in slightly, and then there was a loud shout from the next room, of Dave swearing, they pulled away, breathing heavily. Spencer literally ran to his side of the room, and Aaron stood harshly, running his fingers through spikey hair

"Shit." he whispered, he watched Spencer "You were never abused right? Not like...not like-"

"No! No," he shook his head "My mom never touched me."

"Good," Aaron's breathing slowed "I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or bring back memories."

"You say that like we're gonna do it again," Spencer pointed out.

Aaron smiled, even though it looked secretly guilty "Maybe I had some sort of secret agenda into getting you into this room," Spencer flushed.

...  
...  
...

"Hey," Spencer said quietly, walking into the living room, where Garcia, JJ and Emily were playing cards. They looked up in surprise

"Hey boy wonder," Garcia beamed, calling him over and patting the cushion at the end of the coffee table, Spencer sat down, still shy, but willing. "You wanna play?"

"I don't think you'll wanna play with me after a few rounds," he quirked a small smile and JJ laughed

"What? Are you that good?"

... 15 minutes later...

"Who knew he was that good?" Emily breathed, handing over another chocolate bar to Spencer who won again, JJ was staring in disbelief

"Are you...are you actually card counting? That's like impossible!"

"I have an eidetic memory," he explained to the pretty blonde, laughing at her expression "Numbers go into my head. Also...you guys have terrible poker faces," Emily shoved him playfully, and they laughed. "I can be the dealer, if you like. Give you guys a fighting chance?"

"Oh it's on, wonder boy," Emily declared.

...  
...  
...

That night, dinner was better.

Aaron had moved to sit opposite Spencer, and they, with the girls, were talking about some TV show Derek had never heard of. He growled, and Dave shrugged at him. "What?"

"When did he get so damn talkative?"

"Around the time when we started to get to know him," Dave rolled his eyes "You gotta give him a chance, Morgan."

And so Morgan decided to do just that.

After dinner, he followed Spencer into the kitchen, where he was the last to put his plate away, and cornered him beside the counter. "Hey, kid,"

Spencer looked up, eyes slightly hopeful "Hey Derek,"

"How's rooming with Aaron?"

"Good," he flushed "Really good."

"He let you keep the light on?"

Spencer flinched, quickly realising that this was not about becoming friends. He glanced around the kitchen, wondering how he could escape. "I...I should go-" he made to leave, but Derek gripped his wrist, trapping him. 

"I asked you a question, Reid."

"You're hurting me," he said quietly, tugging at his wrist "Derek please you're hurting me."

And damn those words were familiar. He remembered saying almost the exact same thing to Carl. Carl didn't stop. A large part of Derek screamed that he wasn't Carl. He looked at Spencer, who was staring up at him with large, wide eyes. "You're weak, Spencer. You need to toughen up."

"Okay," he nodded, tears glittering in his eyes "I will, I swear, just please-"

"You're never gonna get a happy ending. I learned that the hard way. Don't ever forget that all of us here, we're tainted. And being weak won't save you when life's circle continues, get me?"

Spencer looked at him for a long time, before placing his free hand gently atop Derek's hand that was gripping his arm. He touched him gently, "I'm sorry you feel that way," he whispered, shaking his head, a small smile "I'm sorry that he took away your belief in happy endings. That he took away your hope. But you can take it back," Derek stared at him, paralysed, tears in his own eyes. Spencer swallowed "I know that...I know that you think it's weak to cry. I understand, but...it's not," he gave a weak, watery laugh "It's weak to bottle it all up, because it'll burst out one day. No one would think any less of you."

"No," he shook his head "Can't show weakness."

"Why not?" Spencer pleaded, desperate "Why not?"

And then Morgan was hugging him. 

Spencer stood frozen, and then he felt tears on his neck, and he was hugging Derek back, engulfed with his heat, and he couldn't help but compare him to Aaron. Derek smelt of lynx and confidence. "I'm sorry," Derek whispered "You're just a kid, but I..."

"It's alright," Spencer whispered, "It's alright,"

...  
...  
...

"How are you feeling?" Aaron asked, he was brushing Spencer's hair. The younger boy didn't really understand why at first, but then he did. It was in his nature. Aaron wanted to take care of things, of everyone, and Spencer didn't really mind. It actually felt kinda good.

"Better, I like it here,"

"I'm glad," the black haired boy beamed, smoothing Spencer's hair with his hand "Hands," Spencer pushed his hands forward, and Aaron was massaging cream onto his wrists, due to Spencer's nervous habit of wringing them whenever he could, dark red circles tended to form. 

"Did you do this with everyone?" Spencer asked quietly "I mean, the thing with Derek...you set him up, provoked him. Did you do that with everyone? Get them to share a room with you so you could look after them?"

Aaron looked at the younger boy for a long time, thumbs still working on bony wrists "I did." He nodded "First with Derek, then with Dave."

"That's why you're the leader,"

"I wasn't always," The older boy shook his head "Before me it was Jason. He was in charge. Someone aside from Jean needs to be. He trained me up, for when he left. And I think Derek was angry, he didn't want to be in charge, but it was still a betrayal he wasn't chosen. He respects me, and wouldn't want the leadership for himself, but he's jealous."

"Oh." Spencer scrunched his nose "Are you training JJ to be in charge?"

Aaron smiled "You're pretty perceptive." He nodded "I was, but then..." he gestured to Spencer "I think you might be able to do it,"

Spencer scoffed, "I'm not exactly leadership material, Hotch."

"Everyone likes you. Listens to you. You got Derek to cry, Spencer. One hell of an achievement. Even I couldn't do that. It's within you, natural, like with Jason," he stared at Spencer thoughtfully "He would have liked you,"

"I think you should train Derek to be leader. He may not want it, but he'd be good at it,"

"Maybe you and him together," he sighed "He can be...unpredictable,"

"I noticed,"

"But yeah..." Hotch nodded, more determined "The two of you together, great leaders."

"Only after your reign is done though, right?"

"...of course."

...  
...  
...

And a week later, Dave and Spencer swap rooms again. 

Derek acts almost bashful as he helps the younger set up all his stuff, and then night time comes, and Spencer's under his blankets, Derek padding towards the light switch. He flicks it off, and the room should be plunged into darkness- except. 

Stickers. There was hundreds and hundreds of stickers on the ceiling, glow in the dark stars and moons, and Spencer gazes up at them, eyes wide, turning to look at Derek, who's standing, almost awkwardly, arms crossed over his chest. "Like 'em?"

"Thank you," Spencer chokes out. Derek smiled, rubbing the back of his neck

"Listen kid, the things I said- I did, I'm not proud of any of it. I don't...I don't know who told you about my past, but...I'm sorry," Spencer smiles, eyes lazing back up to the ceiling. Derek lies in his own bed, on his back, like Spencer, staring up at the ceiling. "Spencer? Did you know you cry in your sleep?"

"I know," he said softly "I have nightmares," neither looks at each other, looking up. 

"What about?"

"I can never remember them. I think that's what scares me most."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he inquires hopefully, and Spencer curls up towards his pillows

"There's nothing anyone can do."

And that's that.

Until about 4 hours later that night. 

Derek groans, awoken by a soft whimpering, he sits up, to see Spencer, thrashing, crying, he leaps out of bed, rushing towards him, shaking his shoulders to wake him up, because the kid's gonna fucking hurt himself- Spencer wakes with a gasp, crying anew, fisting his hands and curling towards Derek's bare chest, the warmth of bare skin comforting. Derek wraps his arms around the younger, soothing him. Whispering, and Spencer drifts into a dreamless sleep. Until he too, falls asleep.

He's kinda glad he locked the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You got inside my head...the broken locks were a warning...


	3. Still Beating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's the memories," Garcia nodded "The memories...and the laughter."
> 
> "The laughter?" He asked uncertainly 
> 
> "The laughter." She said, suddenly confident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a broken heart...that's still beating...

Spencer wakes up first.

Warm, cuddled, safe, and he hasn't felt that way in a long time. 

He blinks, eyes focusing, and when he sees Derek's sleeping face, he remembered exactly what's happened.

He darts away, pulling the blankets with him in a harsh movement that makes Derek groan, waking up. And the dark 16 year old looks around, and then remembers too. "Hey kid," he says softly, watching Spencer "You alright? You had a nightmare, remember?" Spencer nodded, clutching the blanket, eyes wide "Uh..." Derek laughs slightly at Spencer's scarlet flush "Don't worry about it kid. Kinda nice having something warm to sleep beside. Seemed to help you, didn't have any other dreams?" And Derek remembers all that stuff he said to the kid about being weak, but…he just can’t find it in him anymore.

"N-no...thanks," he offers weakly, Derek smiles, as though that's all he needs.

"Any time, kid,"

And they get dressed, both giving the room a quick clean, because not all boys abide by stereotypes, and head downstairs to make breakfast.

Derek doesn't know how it happened, but for the rest of the day, Spencer follows him. Almost nipping at his heels, like a damned puppy, and he can't help but find some fondness in the irritation- the kid's needy...it's...it's almost nice. No one's needed Derek for a long time. When he sat down on the sofa to play video games, Spencer sat at his feet, cross legged, a giant book in his lap. Derek even ruffles his hair whenever he scores a point on the game, and Hotch tries- and fails by the way, at hiding his grin. And when Derek left, Spencer padded after him. 

Everyone noticed, and it made Derek blush a little- he hasn't gone soft. It's just this kid. He swears it to Emily, and she laughs in his face. Kindly, of course. Then goes on to declare her hatred of politics.

"Derek, honey," Jean calls "I have to pop out, would you mind peeling the vegetables for dinner?" Derek nods, wishing her goodbye, and then goes into the kitchen, the quiet sounds of Spencer's footsteps behind him are about as surprising as his shadow. He starts peeling, and Spencer sits on the counter, legs swinging, as he reads, just content to be in the same room as the other guy. A nice silence settled between them, before Derek decided to break it. 

"So kid, you like Parsnips?" he asked, as he peeled one of the pale yellow vegetables.

"What?"

"Parsnips? Do you like them?"

"Uh..." Spencer flounders for a moment "I won't object to having them, and I'll eat them if they're given to me?"

Derek rolls his eyes, laughing "This isn't an exam kid, do you like them?"

"I've never tasted them." He confesses "I didn't have a lot of vegetables when I lived with my mom,"

"You didn't have a lot of anything, when you lived with your mom," Derek said softly, and Spencer says nothing, watching him curiously, and Derek sighs, setting the Parsnip aside and picking up a carrot "What's with the stray dog act, kid? Following me around all day,"

"Sorry," Spencer gushed quickly "Does it bother you? I can st-"

"No," And Derek doesn't know whether he's cutting him off, or whether he's ordering the kid to not stop. To never stop. To never stop needing him. "It's fine," he says coolly "Just wondering why,"

"I..." he frowned "I like being near you? Sorry, I just..." he shot Derek a heart-breaking, adorable little smile "You made my nightmares go away. No one's ever done that before. And so...I wanna be with you all the time, because then, I won't think bad thoughts,"

Huh. "And how's that working out?"

"Flawlessly," Spencer beams, and Derek can't help his own wiry smile, as he returns to peeling vegetables. It’s…a heart-warming feeling, actually, to know your presence stops someone else bad dreams, bad thoughts, makes them feel safe. Something you’re not trying to do but do anyway…it’s heart-warming. But Spencer's not done talking "Would you like me to read this out loud? It's this amazing book- about this boy who runs away from home to become a part of the CIA."

Derek scrunched up his nose "I don't like the CIA."

"Why not?"

"Nosy people, violent people."

"The FBI aren't violent," Spencer chirps helpfully "They abhor violence."

"Well there we go," Morgan grins "Let's go become members of the FBI,"

"Not sure we'd get in," Spencer teases "You need to have above average stable minds."

"Ah you're right," Derek laughs "Not a chance then," He watches Spencer kick his legs excitedly, and the kid seems much younger than 14, not in terms of academics but...damn near everything else. Derek gets the bad feeling he was forced to grow up too quickly. "Kid, have you ever seen Doctor Who?"

Spencer looks up, eyes bright and curious "No, what's it about?"

Derek grins wildly- oh he just made this kids life.

...  
...  
...

"Where's Spencer?" Penelope asked, as Derek walked into the garden, she was sitting with her laptop under the large willow tree, and Derek sat beside her, legs outstretched. He shot her a sexy grin

"You saying you're surprised to see me without him?"

"He is kinda attached to you," she teased, flicking her blonde curls of her shoulder 

"He's in our room, watching Doctor Who, I knew he'd like it."

"He likes it?" She squeals "That's so great! No one else in the house loves it as much as me! We could go to conventions and everything!" Derek can't help but grin at her contagious, joy-filled tone. "What about you? Why aren't you in there watching it with him?"

"Ah, Daleks aren't my thing, baby girl, you know that,"

Garcia shot him a grin "What I know, is that one second, you're forcing him to sleep in the kitchen, the next, you're ruffling his hair and teaching him about the wonders of a Doctor in a blue box." She nudged him "You like him," Derek rolled his eyes and she chuckled "What? I kinda like it, dark chocolate white chocolate, vanilla and caramel, however you wanna look at it, it could be cute."

"Yeah, Garcia, aside from the fact that no one knows I'm Bi, but you, there's also the fact that he's 14, and that's kinda disgusting."

"It's only a two year difference-"

"It's disgusting." He stretched back, so his back was against the slightly damp grass, as he looked up at the web of branches "Plus, who'd ever believe me? They'd think I was Bi because of...because of him." Carl. Garcia touches his shoulder 

"No one thinks that," she whispered "No one would ever dare think that. Derek...sexuality it's...it's not defined by what other people do to us. Buford's gone now, forever. And he's not coming back. So don't let him ruin what would make you happy. Don't you ever. Not ever." Derek closes his eyes and hears her sigh "I know...you'll never forget what he did. And every time you think about a relationship with a guy, you think of him, but....you will get better. One day, this is some distant, horrible memory."

"Yeah, god knows everyone in this house has enough of those."

"Memories make us who we are." She continued gently, moving her laptop onto his chest and tilting the screen, so he could see a panda hugging a baby wolf, Derek can't help but scoff, and laugh at the ridiculous image "So does what makes us smile. You make me smile, Derek,"

"Yeah? You make me smile too, gorgeous,"

"So does Spencer, right?"

"...Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still breathing...with a broken heart...


	4. I wouldn't put it past you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The problem with fairy tales is that they say families look like this, and sometimes, they don't. And for a young child...it's the worst type of lie. Because it's from the same person who told them about fairies and heroes. So they just don't know what to believe." Emily sighed "It's politics."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your comments, you make me tear up :)  
> x

"Come on, kid," Derek groans, the light is off, the doors locked, and the stars glow on the ceiling, and the TV in the corner is still flickering images of space monsters, as Spencer sits on the floor, cross-legged, watching it in awe. Derek doesn't know what season the kid's on, but now he's looking at Christopher Eccelson, so that should be far enough. "I can't sleep with this noise."

"I'll mute it." Spencer murmurs, eyes never leaving the screen, as he shuts off the sound and reads the subtitles instead. Morgan has to scoff at that

"Spencer." He tries to be firm "It's past midnight, you should be in bed." And Huh. That approach does work, Spencer sighs, shoulders slumping, and he flicks off the television, standing there, a little haplessly for a moment. Derek lies on his side, watching him from his bed with an arched eyebrow "What's wrong?" Spencer doesn't say anything, dressed in his baby blue pyjamas, neat hair tucked behind his ears. He fumbled with the edges of his sleeves, before saying quietly 

"I'm strong."

Okay. Wasn't what Derek was expecting. "I know that," he says quietly. Because in all honesty, he does. This kid's been starved, and beaten by a mother who probably wasn't even aware of what she was doing. He's been bullied and humiliated, but he can still laugh with the girls, cheat at cards, do magic tricks, watch Doctor Who non-stop for 14 hours, the kid is strong, despite being so terribly weak. He's a horrid contradiction that Derek can't help but look at fondly. He's scared of the dark, yet he can confront Derek about being abused, he has nightmares, yet he tricked Dave into losing at poker. He's shy- but confident. He's a social recluse but he can talk more than anyone Derek has ever known. So yeah. A bit of a contradiction. Not so much a strong weakling, but a...weak strongling. 

"Can I..." he rubbed the back of his neck "Would it be okay if..." he gestured to Derek's bed, and the older one realises. Sleep together. The thought conjures up dirty images, but the reality is much softer and sweeter. He lifts the blankets

"Come on, Spence, as long as you don't tell anyone,"

Spencer nearly runs to him "I won't." He promises in a heartbeat, curling up into the warmth of Derek's chest, getting their legs tangled in an embrace that should be far too intimate for young teenagers, but...it's just...not. Derek waits for the awkwardness and the shuffling, but nothing comes. Just silence, and the twinkling of the fake stars. Derek wraps his arm around the kid slowly, and he can feel all the bones and ridges of his spine, and that makes him hug him tighter. "'Night Derek," he says quietly, hot breath making goose bumps break out along Morgan's throat.

"Night kid," He breathes. 

...

Derek isn't quite sure what to do with his morning wood. 

I mean- he knows what to do with it, but he doesn't know WHAT to do with it, if you know what I mean. 

It's pressed snugly into Spencer's thigh, and he knows that if he rocks his hips forward enough, he can get the friction to- Woah! Since when would he do that? Never. He would...he would never. Spencer shifts, and Morgan stifles a groan, the genius wakes up, blinking slightly, before his face breaks out into a smile, that looks...breath taking, up close. "Morning, pretty boy," he whispers, currently forgetting about his predicament. Spencer nuzzles back into Derek's throat 

"You worked. No nightmares. Thank you," and he sounds so grateful as he kisses the base of Derek's throat with wet lips that make the older one groan, and his length thicken. Spencer doesn't realise, he sits up, looking at his untouched bed, and stretches like a cat, all of his bones clicking and Morgan laughs at the sight.

"You were totally a kitten in another life." He chuckles bunching the covers over his dick when Spencer stands out of bed, the younger one glares at him playfully

"I could've been a tiger."

Morgan looks thoughtful "Maybe a baby tiger."

"Baby tigers are called Cubs or Whelps."

"Ha!" Derek laughs "You were a Whelp!"

"I think you might have been a...hawk. Or an eagle. Something totally American, can see everything, wary, clever, fast," Spencer collects his things for the bathroom, nodding at Derek thoughtfully "You could fly."

"And you have watched too much Doctor Who," Morgan threw a pillow at him, which hit Spencer square in the face, he just rubbed his nose, reflexes atrocious, heading into the bathroom at the sound of Morgan's laughs.

"Oh, but Derek?" he called through the door

"What's up, pretty boy?" Derek sits up, still smiling

"You should sort out your nocturnal penile tumescence." Comes his clear voice, the shower water starts running, but Derek knows Spencer's not in it yet, he likes the water to heat up. 

"My what?" Morgan asked incredulously

"Uh..." he flounders for a second "What's the term kids are using nowadays- oh yeah, Morning Wood, Hard On, Arousal, Tent, Mi-"

"Got it! Got it! Got it!" Morgan shuts him up, flushing with embarrassment "Take your shower, kid!"

Spencer sounds sceptical; "Are you embarrassed? You shouldn't be embarrassed, it's perfectly natural for teenager-"

"La, la, la! I can't hear you, you're a voice in my mind!"

Spencer's laugher made him smile, through the hazy clouds of mortification. 

...

"You're kidding," Garcia giggles with glee, as she and Derek lay out everything for breakfast "That's so funny, what did he call it again?" She's literally beaming and Derek sighs with a smile

"He called it my nocturnal penile tumescence."

"Yikes." She shivered "That sounds like a disease."

"He should totally be a Doctor though," Derek said thoughtfully, setting out the cereal "He like...he wasn't even affected by it. He felt it, but he didn't even blink, didn't even react, it was more like an after thought. And he was telling me that it was normal, that I was a teenager-"

"Wait." Garcia frowned, turning to look at Derek expectantly, but with a knowing glint in her eyes "You just said he felt it. How did he feel it? I thought you said he noticed it when you got up."

"He did."

"But you just said-"

"Garcia, baby girl," Derek shoots her a desperate look "You already know, don't you? Don't make me say it."

"Alright," she shrugged, heading over to lay out spoons, humming to herself "Derek and Spencer sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

"I can hear you, you know?" Derek stated dryly, Garcia hugged him tightly, almost lifting him up 

"It's just the cutest thing I've ever heard in my whole life! You know, aside from the tumescence thing. It's like...the lion laying down with the lamb."

"We were thinking a tiger and a hawk."

"What?"

"A baby tiger."

"Do I even wanna know?" Penelope grinned, wiping her hands, Derek ruffled her hair

"Probably not, beautiful."

...  
...  
...

It's all fairly uneventful, until it's...eventful. 

All the teenagers are in the living room, Hotch and Spencer playing a game of chess, JJ and Emily playing some game on the TV, Dave is reading, Derek and Penelope are both sharing a laptop, looking up new software and knock knock jokes.

"Spencer," Jean says softly as she walks in, and Spencer looks up from the chess game "Tomorrow at 3pm, some ah....a couple is gonna come interview you for adoption, alright?" Everyone else in the room looks up at this news. It's been months and months since someone came to look at them. No one comes. They're broken and unwanted, and adults are the enemy. Except for Jean. 

"Okay." Spencer says quietly, and returns looking at the game. Jean nods, swallowing

"They're a good couple, names Bill and Amy, they can't have kids, and Amy can only use 70% of her body, so they wanted to adopt someone a little older." Jean stands there, as though she wants to say something else, and she does. She wants to tell Spencer to impress them, to get them to adopt him, she wants to tell him to do what the others have failed, she wants him to go and have a real family, because while she loves them all, and she always will, Jean's no substitute for a mother and father, she can't fill the need that Spencer has. "Do your best, okay?" She says instead.

"Okay." Spencer repeats, and she leaves. The brunette looks up to Aaron, who presses his lips together thoughtfully

"You gonna try to get adopted?" Aaron asks finally

Spencer frowns "What do you mean? Isn't that the point."

"No." JJ and Derek growl out at the same time, and JJ continues; "We all made a pack, to botch up every interview that came along, to stick together. Because we don't need anyone but each other. We're only leaving this place when we become 18."

"What?" Spencer exclaims, eyes wide "But foster care facilities are only meant to be temporary in this state! You can't just purposely mess up-"

"Does that mean you're gonna try to leave?" Derek asks, and Spencer falters, because its...well, it's Derek asking him. And he hasn't known him all that long but he's closer to Derek than he ever been to anyone in his whole life. He doesn't want to leave him- but he has too. Because that's what the whole point is. "I remember you told me you would be here that long. Is that what you meant? You're gonna try to get taken by whoever comes along first? They won't take care of you Spencer. Adults don't know how. You're either born with parents who love you, or you aren't. You don't ever get new ones."

"He's right, Spencer," Dave says quietly, not looking up from his book "Once a family is broken, it's never put back together again. So, this is our family. And we want to accept you into it, but you have to promise to mess up the interview."

"But...don't you guys want a real home? Two parents who love you?" He asks, in a quiet voice, and Emily sighs

"Spence," she says, firmly "We have a real home, and we have people who love us." She gestured around them "I'm not asking you to mess up, but if you do, you're a part of this family, and if you don't...who knows, maybe you'll prove all of us wrong," She gave him a gentle smile "I wouldn't put it past you."

Derek frowned. He wouldn’t either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that I love you!  
> x


	5. Are we, Boss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well done, Spencer," Emily whispers "I know it must have been hard,"
> 
> "Actually," Spencer manages a grin "It was incredibly easy,"
> 
> Emily ruffles his hair "Atta boy,"

"Hello Spencer," Bill beams across the table, and it breaks Spencer's heart a little bit, they look like such a nice couple. They would make excellent parents. Amy's not in a wheel chair, her legs aren't the problem, it's one of her arms and a little of the right side of her face, it wobbles when she smiles, but she smiles so much, it's hard not to smile back

"Hello," he says quietly, guilty, and then continues before they can speak "I won't ever feel like your son, you know?" They stare at him wordlessly and he sighs, pressing his lips together "You're good people, and you'll try so hard, but you won't ever see me as more than a temporary solution to something you both want desperately, and I won't ever see you without eyes hazed through sympathy. I know, that considering a child through IVF seems a lot harder because of your condition," he looks at Amy "But the fact is, it would be a lot of work, but you could do it, and you know you could. You have a husband who loves you so much, and the bond you would have with your child- it would be your child," Spencer shrugs "I don't see how you could ever consider adoption." Amy's eyes are watering and Bill stares at him, clearing his throat 

"Jean said you were 14,"

"I am."

"You don't want a family? We could take you away from here, we could make you feel wanted-"

"Mr Steven," Spencer lays both hands on the table "I feel wanted here."

"He's right, you know Billy," Amy whispers, reaching across to pat Spencer's head, he smiles, trying not to duck away from the touch "I want my own baby,"

Bill smiles brilliantly; "Really?" and his voice crackles with hope, Amy nods and they embrace each other, Spencer slips out.

And bumps into Jean. She stands there, looking down at him, obvious she was listening, and there are tears of pure sadness in her eyes "You let them get to you." She accuses gently, because he's only 14 "I gave you a way out and you kicked it away." Spencer doesn't know what to say, because he knows she's right. But he also knows that he's never had friends before in his whole life. "Oh Spencer...you're going to regret this."

"I think you're wrong," he whispers, heading for the stairs, but she calls after him

"And I don't think you're as smart as you think you are!"

Spencer pauses, and looks up the steps where he sees Aaron and Derek, looking down at him, and they look proud. But Spencer shoves past both of them, not in the mood to talk. Aaron and Derek look down at Jean, who stares up at them as though they were Kings. She runs her fingers through blonde hair "You both think you know what's best for him, what I think is, you convinced him to see the world your messed up, twisted way. Hope your pleased with yourselves." And she disappears.

Morgan looks up at Hotch, uncertainly "Are we, boss?"

Hotch contemplates for a moment "We are."

32 HOURS EARLIER

"I'm not gonna do it, you know, Derek," Spencer says softly, he's sat cross-legged on his own bed, sorting through different supplies that Jean has given him for when he starts school after the summer is over. He doesn't seem the point of so many colouring pencils, but he sharpens them all dutifully anyway. "I'm not going to mess up the interview. I'm gonna ace it. Like I ace everything." It's meant to be lightly teasing, but Derek doesn't see it that way.

"So we're not good enough for you then?" he growls, "None of us are good enough for the little genius are we?" He stares at the ceiling so he won't glare at Spencer "Adults aren't good for us-"

"That's a biased view, and you know it is!" Spencer cries, appalled "Derek, one adult was bad to you-"

"One adult?! One adult?! Spencer, just because one adult did those things to me doesn't mean he was the only bad one! My priest knew, my mama knew, my teachers knew, my friends parents knew, and you know what they did?" Spencer closes his eyes tightly because he knows "Nothin' man! They did nothin'!"

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispers pleadingly "But the fact is, the people who did nothing are not bad people. They were stupid, scared people, who feared for their own children, or thought there was nothing they could do. The only bad adult you ever met was Carl Buford." Derek met his eyes, and shook his head almost in disbelief

"For someone so smart, you are so stupid." He turned away from Spencer "You're not sleeping with me tonight. You're not sleeping in this room."

"Oh? And where do I get to sleep, oh mighty one? Since you're in charge of everything?"

"I don't give a damn where you sleep, but it sure as hell ain't here."

"Oh, so you're punishing me for having a point of view?" Spencer challenged, standing, setting down the pencils "You know I have nightmares and am scared of the dark, so you decide to take my fears, and throw them at me, when I don't agree with you, is that it Derek? I just wanna make sure I understand." He pushes his glasses further up his face, and picks up his blanket and pillow, he opened the door "I'm not the only one who has nightmares, Derek," he hissed "I help you just as much as you help me."

And the door closes.

Derek can't sleep. Damn, the stupid kid, he gets up in the middle of the night, grabs his torch and wonders down through the house, the first place he checks is the kitchen, but Spencer isn't there despite the red over light. He tries the living room, but Spencer isn't there either. He checks everywhere. Spencer isn't there. He's petrified for a moment, when he sees the backdoor open, he tiptoes out into the garden.

And there's Spencer, curled up tight in a sleeping bag, with Aaron. 

The scene does a number on his heart. First, relief because Spencer's safe, second betrayal, because in some sense of the word, Spencer's sleeping with someone else, thirdly, jealousy, how dare Hotch ever think about touching him. "I didn't think the stars would be so clear," Spencer admitted as Derek watched, unseen "It's not even dark," and he can hear the smile in his voice, Hotch chuckles, arm wrapped tight around Spencer 

"You could pass for a 12 year old you know? You don't look 14, you're too small."

"I'll have a growth spurt," Spencer promises "I'll be almost as tall as you,"

Hotch smiles at that, and sighs in contentment "I hope you come to me whenever you feel scared, alright?" he whispers "I'm happy you did. Shows a good level of trust, I'm glad I've earned that,"

Spencer smiles, yawning like a puppy, and snuggling further into Aaron's warmth "Derek's mood swings scare me," he confessed, and Hotch met Derek's eyes across the garden, and the 16 year old froze, but Aaron didn't rat him out

"Yeah, he's a jerk like that." He grins then "But we don't want you to leave, so...you'll have to forgive him."

"I'm not angry at him," Spencer insists "And technically, it is his room. He's older, he's been there longer than I have. If he wants to kick me out, I'm kicked out." Spencer closes his eyes, and his breathing evens, for a long time, the two older boys think he's asleep, but then he speaks again, much calmer "I won't mess up the interview," he promises "But I might try to convince them that they don't want to adopt me, would that work?"

"Yes," Aaron breathes, kissing Spencer's forehead like an older brother "It would work."

...  
...  
...

"I want to give you something," Hotch says the next morning to Derek, and Derek frowns, when Hotch pushes a small notebook into his hand. The dark boy looks down at it curiously, and Hotch sighs "It's a list Derek, of everyone who ever lived here. Who lives here. Every single one of their secrets."

"This was Gideon's..."

"And when he left, he gave it to me, and I continued writing it," He touched Derek's shoulder "I'm leaving in a few months, and I want you to-"

"Me?" Derek steps back, shaking his head "What the hell, Aaron? No! You know that I'm not a good leader, make it Emily, or JJ," He briefly considers pushing Spencer in for the job, but then stops talking because he's afraid Aaron might say yes, and he doesn't want the two of them spending even more time together.

"They'll be leaving pretty soon after me," Aaron says soothingly "Besides, I think you can do this," he smiles "You hated that I was Jason's 'protégé' right? Well, now you're mine. Everyone likes you, you'd be a good leader-"

"You've never thought that before," Morgan defends himself, but he's clutching the book tighter now, it fits perfectly into his hand "You've always said that I don't always think rationally, I let emotions get in the way, what changed?"

"Nothing changed," Aaron grinned "I just realised that emotions might be a good thing," He steps back "Remember how close Jason and I got before he left? I think we can have that. I think we can go without the fighting and power plays. We can be strong."

"I'm not gonna play chess with you,"

"Good," Aaron calls, heading for the door "It'd be pretty boring beating you anyway,"


	6. Business Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Sit down' she said, or whispered "I'll give you shelter from the storm"

Summer was over. 

Which meant, Spencer was going to a new school. He wasn't naïve about what he would encounter. He was a child prodigy that looked like a pipe cleaner with greasy hair no matter how many times he washed it. He would be bullied and he would be beaten, and he would get past all of that. So that fine Tuesday morning, he slid on his black sweater vest, back perfectly packed, and sat on his bed, legs swinging as he watched Derek fumble around. 

"Dammit, I have a project in for today!" Derek groaned, half under the bed. Spencer frowned

"You had 6 weeks to do it and you're only looking for it now?" He glances at his watch "40 minutes before we're meant to be at school?" His tone is disapproving, but also fond, and a part of him is anxious, anxious to see the new building, discover where the bullies hang out and form a social life with the books in the library. Derek shuffles out from under the bed, a piece of paper in his hand which he reads with a frown, before shrugging and handing it to Spencer, who glances it over "What would a futuristic society be like?" he reads, shrugging "I don't know."

"It was for English," Derek sighed, shoving random pencils into a pencil case "She wants me to work on something to do with commas. I don't know, can you do it?"

"A 6 week project in 40 minutes?" Spencer beams "I'd love too."

"Fuck kid, I love you," Derek hisses, he kisses Spencer's forehead, and then disappears into the bathroom for a shower.

He comes downstairs 20 minutes later, to see Spencer scribbling away at the dining table, Hotch arches an eyebrow "Don't tell me this is the beginning of a pattern, Derek," he sighs "Spencer can't do your homework whenever you forget- which by the way, is all the time," Emily laughs, taking a bite of her croissant and Morgan rolls his eyes. 

"He's helping me out, looking at him go, I might even get a B for this one, I haven't had a B on my English assignments in..." he pretends to count "Ever, actually," Hotch nudges him, and peers out of the window 

"Dave's outside, wanna kick around?" he picks up the football, and Derek nods, why not get covered in mud right after your shower? 

10 minutes later, they're call crammed in Jean's car. Hotch sits up front with her, Emily, JJ and Garcia in the back seat, and Spencer, Derek and Rossi in the seats behind them. Rossi marvels at the extra space "Man, I'm not actually crammed against a window, Jason took up half the space I swear, but look at you kid," he ruffles Spencer's hair, barely take up half a seat."

Spencer smiles, but doesn't look up from the paper he's writing. Derek peers down at it, and is surprised. "What the hell?" He frowns "Kid- that looks exactly like my handwriting?"

Spencer doesn't stop, but his voice sounds confused "Do you want me to do it as my handwriting?"

"Well- no, but...but how?" he shoots Rossi a look just to make sure that what he's seeing really is as abnormal as he thinks it is. "How can you perfectly mirror my writing like that? And so quickly-"

"It's called graphology," Spencer said, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, flipping the page, writing a new date (the date of a Wednesday 3 weeks ago) "I studied your handwriting, and now I'm mirroring it," he laughed to himself "I'm even changing the slant on different days to give the impression of different emotions, today you're happy, because it was your birthday yesterday," he gestured to the page "By the way, in the future, you believe in teleportation."

"Holy shit." David whispered "Can you go my homework?"

"Wait, wait, wait-" Morgan frowned "When did you even see my handwriting? I've made it a thing to not even touch a pencil this summer."

"You write song lyrics on the wall by your bed, I see them when I go to sleep,"

Rossi was the only other person to hear that. He turned, eyebrow arching, and Morgan stiffened, as Rossi whispers in a low voice "That would imply, that you sleep in his bed."

Spencer's pencil stopped moving then, and Derek cursed internally. 

Rossi gave them both a long look, before kicking his legs out and leaning his head against the window "Take care of each other." He murmurs, and Spencer goes back to writing. Derek reaches an arm around, and squeezes Rossi's shoulder in gratitude, and the Italian man only nods.

...  
...  
...

"Newbie," Marcus called, a 16 year old with a grudge against society, with bond hair, and two goons behind him. He cornered Spencer in the hallway just outside the cafeteria. Spencer had recognised him as a bully as soon as he'd seen him in the morning. He was placed in all the advanced classes, and this boy had told the teacher it must be some mistake, that no 14 year old with glasses bigger than his face, could do advanced chemistry. The teacher had written a question on the board for Spencer to prove himself, and Spencer did, in record time. "You're with that foster home, right?"

Spencer nodded.

"You know Aaron Hotchner, then?"

Another nod.

Marcus caught Spencer's shoulder, but instead of pulling a punch, he slid his hand up the side of his face, hand cupping his jaw. Spencer whimpered, and Marcus hushed him "It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you. A genius, right? Eidetic memory? Way too useful to punch." Spencer was confused now, and his eyes darted to the two goons, and Marcus shrugged "They're not muscle, they won't hurt you. In fact, they're here to make sure other people won't touch you."

"W-why?"

"We have exams coming up. We need to do well to get into college."

"What? No." Spencer shook his head "I'm not helping you cheat."

Marcus ran his hands through Spencer's hair again, appraising thoughtfully "Would you rather we beat you till you do what we want, or accept protection?" Spencer said nothing, and Marcus' slicked back hair shone in the dim hallway light. "You won't be helping us cheat. These aren't real exams, they're just gonna help when our teachers write up reports, recommendations. Get us through the mocks. Sneak into the classrooms, find the test, tell us the answers."

"Why can't you do that?" Spencer squirmed in the gentle grip, but there was nowhere to go 

"Teachers are strict. Each classroom is paroled every 10 minutes, we wouldn't have enough time. But you...Mr Eidetic Memory, one glance and it's all up here," he ruffled Spencer's hair "Don't feel bad about it, Aaron Hotchner recommended you to this."

"What?! No he di-"

"Spencer," Aaron was there then, standing there, tall and strong, in a football uniform "I did. Take it. At least for now. While you settle in. They're offering protection the rest of us can't give you, none of our classes are the same as yours." Spencer stared at him, partly in shock. 

"And what if I get caught?"

"Then we'll tell them we forced you into it," Marcus nodded "We're not interested in ruining your life, Spencer. We want to do well and we want you to help us. But when the gig us up, why pull you down?"

...  
...  
...

"Our school is really weird," Spencer whispered that night, he was closed in between the wall and Derek's warm, solid chest pressed against his back. He traced his finger over the song lyrics. 

"How so?" Morgan asked

"The bullies are business men, the jocks are defenders of justice, the nerds don't want friends and the teachers side with the annoying students."

Derek raised his eyebrows, but then shrugged, yawning audibly "You got me my first ever A in English. She wouldn't stop talking about how great my work was. I think your homework was a little too good,"

Spencer smiled, snuggling into Derek's pillow, as Derek planted a soft, gentle kiss onto his bare neck. "You're welcome."

"G'night pretty boy,"

Spencer traced over another song lyric, and decided he wanted to add his own here. "Good night,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are unreal. I love you.  
> x


	7. High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Kiss

Derek didn't think he'd ever get used to it. 

Waking up with Spencer. 

He opened his eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair was snuggled under his chin, he leaned down, kissing Spencer's head, and then shifted to see what the time was. 6:15, they had 45 minutes before they had to be up. Derek stretched in relaxation, all warmed and cosy. Spencer stirred, blinking up owlishly, and smiling, burrowing further in the blankets. "'Ning," he slurred.

Derek chuckled "Good morning to you too, pretty boy,"

Spencer rubbed his eyes, "Do we need to get up?"

"Nah," he wrapped his arm around Spencer "Sleep kid,"

"'m not a kid," Spencer grumbled, looking up, and his breath caught. Derek looked...beautiful. The sunlight streaming through the window hit his face in broken patterns, and he was...he was glowing, one eye sparkling in the broken sunlight, dark eyelashes so incredibly right around dark skin. Spencer decided, that once he'd made up his mind, it wasn't really his fault. The sunrise, and the way Derek was just perfect like that, eyes closed, not an ounce of tension on his face, that as Spencer shuffled up, and placed a kiss on the corner of Derek's mouth, it wasn't his fault. 

Derek's eyes flashed open, and he turned, looking down at Spencer in shock, wondering if he'd just imagined that, but then there was the kid, flushing. Christ, Derek muttered to himself, the kid was 14. Unfortunately, it couldn't stop him from leaning down, cupping Spencer's neck, and doing it again, this time, right on the mouth and...

Everything happened so fast. 

It was like taking drugs. Really, really good drugs, that gave you an instant high, because Spencer's lips were so soft it should be a sin, and Derek couldn't tell if the kid was experienced, or inexperienced, though he could guess the latter. But that's all it would be, a guess, because their lips moved in perfect unison, and he forget everything. He was barely aware of gripping Spencer's hips and shuffling for Spencer to straddle him, and he was dimly aware of Spencer's nimble fingers clutching at his shoulders. He wanted so badly to open his eyes, to see what the lanky genius looked like right now, but he couldn't. All he could do was taste Spencer's tongue when he pried the youngers willing lips open. He felt one hand fisting into silky brown hair, and when they pulled away for air, Spencer tipped his head back instinctively and Morgan kissed down his neck, and he...Smelt. So. Good. And in that moment it didn't matter that he was two years younger, all that mattered was the quiet sounds of the two lips meeting, fragmented sunlight shadowing and simultaneously lighting up their features.

The alarm shrilled and Spencer whimpered in surprise, and he felt so incredibly vulnerable and fragile, and downright delicate in Morgan's arms, that he hugged him so tight, kissing his temple. "It's okay," he soothed, hitting the alarm. He gave a small smile "How the hell has it been 45 minutes?"

Spencer gave a shaky laugh, ducking his head down and clambering off "I'm uh..." he swallowed, pointing to the bathroom, and Derek nodded, watching him leave. When the bathroom door clicked shut, Derek realised he was hard. And for some reason he felt heart achingly guilty. Christ. Spencer was 14. How had he kissed him for 45 minutes? Time had no meaning in that moment, he remembered the high and suddenly felt crashingly low. 

...  
...  
...

In all honesty, Derek should have realised thing with Spencer would never get awkward. 

It was 3rd period, and he was sorting through his locker, desperately searching for his math homework, when Spencer appeared, completely with floppy curls, sweater vest and satchel. He was smiling. Derek let out a sigh of relief. "Here," Spencer handed it to him "You left it on the dining table," And Derek couldn't look away from his lips, he'd kissed those lips, but he hadn't bruised them. He suddenly felt a panging of regret. He hadn't marked Spencer. And that thought stunted him. Mark him? What the hell was he thinking? Jesus, what kind of kinks did he have? Wanting to mark a 14 year old like he owned him. But then there's Spencer, all bright eyed, and bouncing with energy. 

Morgan takes the paper with a smile of disbelief "What would I do without you?" he murmured, Spencer grinned, before a dark look passed over his face, he shifted

"Hey Derek, what time do teachers start their duty in the lunch halls?"

"Uh..." Derek looked at his watch "About 10 minutes, why?"

"No reason," Spencer grinned, but the smile looked force "I uh, checked the homework, number three was wrong, so I just...corrected it, I hope you don't mind? I wrote the method down if you want too..." he was babbling as he walked away, and Derek laughed fondly 

"Yeah, kid thanks, you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah-"

"Spence," Marcus and two goons appear out of nowhere, a protective hand on Spencer's shoulder, that triggers a protective response in Morgan, who suddenly remembers how Spencer felt in his arms this morning, when the sun haloed his features. The only thing that stops Derek from punching Marcus in the face, is that fact that Marcus is smiling reassuringly at Spencer, and Spencer is letting himself get wheeled along. The two goons watch Derek for a moment, as though deciding what to do with him. When they realise that he's too strong to fight, they murmur

"Hey, you might wanna get that maths homework in, Mr Mactry's a bit of a dick when it comes to punishment." 

Derek frowned, but nodded "Uh yeah...thanks," 

"Don't mention it," they nod, and disappear amidst the crowd of children. Derek doesn't seen Aaron watching like a God across the hall, arms crossed over his chest to make sure everything goes smoothly. He makes sure Derek is far enough down the corridor, before he follows Marcus and Spencer, and Goon 1 and Goon 2. Because when stealing test answers, you can never have enough eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was short, and sorry I haven't been updating as much as I would like, because now, instead of writing for just Spencer/Derek, I also have House/Chase fics as well as Mike/Harvey fics. But I will finish each one, and I gotta say guys, some of your comments haven't been very nice, and I've had to delete a few, so as much as I would love you to comment, because I do love you, and I love all feedback, but people who just write that they want smut and that I have to hurry about it, I get that. I mean, who doesn't love smut between these two? And I do love it when writers update quickly, but I'm one of those people that responds to praise, not flames. 
> 
> I love you, and I still want you to comment and encourage me, because you guys make me write, but please...
> 
> And there are a few commenters who told me not to listen to the mean commenters, and to you, seriously, I love you, and this chapter was for you :)  
> x


	8. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burden yourself with me.

Racked with guilt. 

Spencer washed the dishes in a daze, the repetitive motion of the soapy sponge against the various plates lulled him, the only sound the odd splashing of water, the clinking of clean plates stacking together. He looked out through the window, he could see Rossi and Aaron playing football in the garden, the evening sunshine barely beginning to fade. It unnerved him slightly. How could Aaron be so guilt-free like that? He'd been a party to the cheating. He'd seen it, helped, he was in just as deep as Spencer, and yet Spencer couldn't get out there and play if you begged him. Well...Spencer also couldn't play football, so obviously...that was a part of it, but it was the principle!

"I don't know much about plates, but that one looks...spotless to me," Penelope said softly, and Spencer jumped, only just not dropping the dish. He shot her a small smile, and gave it a last rinse, before stacking it up. He wondered how long he'd been doing it, it seemed to glimmer in comparison to the rest. "So," she picked up a dish and started drying with faded blue dish cloth. Spencer sighed a little, shoulders drooping, it wasn't Garcia's turn to dry the dishes, it was Rossi's, who was planning on it later. So that meant Penelope was here to talk. "So, Wonder-Boy, what's kissing our greek god, like?"

Okay. Spencer wasn't expecting that. He chokes on air a little, colour rushing up to his cheeks and Garcia beams. 

"Don't be shy, babe," she soothes, "He loved it." Spencer turned to look at her wide eyed and she nodded "Oh yeah, he's absolutely smitten with you. But who wouldn't be?" She ruffles his hair "He thinks your beautiful," Spencer's breath catches in his throat and he looks back down at the warm, bubbly water. Garcia touches his back gently "So?" She whispers "What does he kiss like?" Her blue eyes are glittering, excitement almost contagious, Spencer can nearly see it firing like neurons through the air, synapse crackling and popping into the microsound. 

He doesn't want to sound too girly, but the thought that comes to mind is- "Remember that movie you forced me to watch? Princess Diaries?"

Garcia coos and claps her hands in excitement "A knee popper! I knew it!" She hugs Spencer tightly "Don't you dare mess this up," she warns teasingly "Don't you hurt him." And Huh, Spencer never thought of that. Because he'd never even consider it. Hurting Derek. As far as he was concerned, Derek's the only person in the relationship who could do any hurting. But if Garcia's telling the truth, and she often does, Spencer has a fair bit of power too. 

it doesn't change anything. 

"One more thing, cutie," she sets down the blue dish cloth "You better tell him about this homework stealing business. Don't let it fester under your relationship, nothing good ever starts like that."

"How did you-"

"Honey," she kisses his cheek, flicking some bubbles up from the sink onto his nose "There ain't nothing in this house that I don't know."

"You didn't know what Derek kissed like." He pointed out as she headed for the door, her laughter tinkled back to him. 

"Didn't. As in past tense, oh, you're so adorable,"

And then she's gone. Spencer grins, shaking his head, continuing with the dishes, he's reminded of the expression 'Don't teach your grand mother to suck eggs' oh yes, he knows the origin and all the different meanings and its translation into 11 different languages, but now, he takes it as a grandmother would mean. Garcia's awfully wise. 

He might buy her an owl clock for Christmas and see if she gets the symbolism. 

She probably will. 

...  
...  
...

"Derek, I need to talk to you," Spencer whispers, tugging on Derek's shirt, the black boy turns towards him, when Aaron, Emily and JJ all come rushing into the room, baring letters. 

"Exam scedhule!" Emily hollars "Dave! Get in here!"

Aaron can't stop smiling "Our last exams! And then- university!"

JJ rolls her eyes "I don't know why I need to do these, I'm going for a soccer scholarship,"

Derek laughs, snatching the exam list and scanning down, he winces "Woah, they split maths into three exams?"

"I know," Aaron shakes his head, laughing "This is gonna be one hell of a ride."

Spencer sits with them, listening to the older members of the house gush about revision and results and the seats they're sitting in. Apparently any letter followed by a 12, and then any letter followed by a 1 is a wall seat, which is apparently very desirable. Spencer wonders if he'll be like this when the time comes, or maybe even when he's Derek's age, because the athletic boy seems very interested. It makes Spencer's heart ache a little. There is an age different, and he knows in the long run it won't mean anything, but it's all about ratios, and right now, the ratio between him and Derek seems a little too big. Spencer's never cared about exams- well, obviously, he's cared, he's wanted to do well, but he's never been excited. It was just something he could do. As common as riding your bike to school. It did nothing for you after a while. 

But eventually the buzz died down, and Spencer tugs at Derek's sleeve again, mindful of Garcia's encouraging nod "I need to talk to you," he insists, Derek frowns, but nods, following Spencer out of the room. 

...  
...  
...

Jean chews her bottom lip that night. Because everything's too quiet.

There's no playful arguing from Rossi and Aaron's room. No girlish giggling from the girls. No 'action filled' silence from Spencer and Derek. 

She sits at the dining table, poking at the apple pie no one else wanted.

She doesn't know what's going on. 

And she has a feeling that she doesn't want too.


	9. A Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek finds a Way Out

"I've got it," Derek exclaims, rushing down the halls to where Spencer's on the floor beside his locker, changing his books for next lesson. Just his luck, to get a bottom locker, but he's so small, he really doesn't mind. Derek looks down at his fondly and urges him to hurry up, so Spencer stands with a wry smile. "Spence, I've got it."

"What do you have?" he asks, and it's almost impossible not to mirror Derek's excitement.

"A way out." He beams, and thrusts a piece of paper into Spencer's hand. The 14 year old genius looks down at it, and frowns. It's a school timetable, with lots of different lessons, and looks pretty dull and boring. Derek ruffles his hair, and looks awfully close to hugging and kissing him in front of the large number of people in the hallway, which Spencer isn't _totally_ opposed too, though he would blush beetroot red for about a week. "You don't have to steal tests anymore, pretty boy, I talked to the head teacher, showed the some of your work. You're a genius Reid, I got you bumped up to my year. We're taking all the same classes now! Except for PE, I swapped that so you can do Further Maths. I don't know why you want to do _extra_ maths lessons, but whatever floats your boat."

Spencer stares at him in poorly concealed awe, and he doesn't care what anyone thinks, he goes onto his tiptoes and hugs Derek so tightly, the older boy just laughs breathlessly into his ear. _"Thank you, thank you, thank you,"_ goes Spencer's mantra, and Derek barely kisses behind his ear, pulling back.

"Don't thank me just yet pretty boy, that means you're doing some pretty serious exams pretty soon, that's some big revision you've got to do."

"I know you'll be there to help me."

...

...

...

"And you're sure you could handle the extra load of homework, Spence?" Jean asks, biting her lip as she looks over all the forms that would allow Spencer to be bumped up two years. Spencer nods, but Jean stops him with her hand "Listen, I know in terms of intellect you wouldn't struggle, but also think about the emotional side, alright? You've been through a lot already, you'll be in a year full of people who are all older than you, teachers will probably cut you a little more slack, or possibly go even harder on you, you need to be prepared to be treated a little differently, and that can take it's toll on you. You're younger than everyone else, so you might struggle with the case load or the pressure, and just remember-"

"I want to do this," Spencer whispers, eyes large and pleading "Please let me."

Jean's shoulders slump as she looks at the lanky genius, he's so much more than the stuttering boy who blushed and was afraid of finishing his food that first came here, and she knows that it's mostly thanks to everyone else in the foster home, Derek especially, she knew there were issues at first, but like most things, it got patched up with time. They're inseparable now, and it's probably a good thing that they can spend more time together now. Probably even apply to university at the same time, because Jean can't imagine Spencer at the foster home without Derek. "Okay." She whispers, a small half-smile flitting along her face, at even the slightest possibility that a foster home was better for someone than their real home "Okay, I'll sign it. But you tell me okay, if you're ever, _ever,_ struggling, and you can move down, even just one year if you need a break."

Spencer is literally thrumming on the other side of the table and she rolls her eyes.

"Go find Derek," she grins "He's waiting for you." And she signs the forms with a flourish to her name.

Spencer rushes out of the dining room, up the stairs towards their bedroom, but stops because in the upper hallway, Hotch and Derek are having a conversation, he moves to stand beside his...whatever he should be calling Derek now. Certainly more than friends. "I guess you did it." Hotch sighs, running his fingers through shaggy black hair, he needs a hair cut, and soon. "But now Marcus is gonna be a right prick about everything, and you're going to have to watch out for him-" he looks to Spencer briefly "-to make sure the goons don't get him."

Spencer crosses his arms in a huff "I can looks after myself." He grumbles, and they both look at him with fond, amused smiles. Hotch sighs, and pats Derek's arm

"You did good, Morgan. Better than I did. I just sold him to the bullies so they'd protect him, didn't even think of altering so _we_ could protect him." He touches Spencer's shoulder gently, and there's a hint of regret in his eyes, as though he's upset he didn't continue what little spark he had with Spencer. And there was spark. But now that Spencer's experienced what being with Derek could be like, he'd find it very difficult to settle for sparks, when he's been experiencing fireworks. The two boys watch him jog downstairs, probably to watch tv with Garcia and JJ, before they wander into their room.

Derek shuts the door, and watches Spencer get on his bed. "Getting comfy on my bed, pretty boy?" Derek asks with a laugh, looking over at Spencer's bed, wondering if it would be too blunt to just throw it away. It's a waste of space anyway. And it's not like they're keeping it this great secret. Whatever 'they' are.

"Very comfy." Spencer grins, moving onto his stomach and looking at the lyrics scrawled on the wall. "I still want to add my own." He says thoughtfully, finger trailing over them. Derek moves to sit beside him with a huff

"What song?"

Spencer frowns, an adorable little crease "I don't know. I only really listen to Beethoven."

Derek nudges him "I'm not sure I want the sheet music to Beethoven scratched into my wall."

Spencer flicked his forehead.

...

...

...

"Will they be coming down for dinner?" Jean sighed, exasperated, motioning to the two empty seats at the table.

Rossi smirked, popping pasta into his mouth "Wouldn't bet on it."

"When they're with each other, they forget they have to _eat_ to live." Emily piped in, and JJ laughed. Garcia cooed, sipping her orange juice

"I think it's cute."

"Of course you do," Hotch rolled his eyes, turning to Jean "Don't worry, I'll take their dinner to them when they've... _finished."_

Everyone around the table laughs in good spirits, and deep down, they're happy for their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, can't even remember if I promised smut or not, but if you guys want it, let me know :) Your comments have been so good to me, and also-
> 
> anyone have any ideas to what Spencer's song lyric should be? I know that a continuance through this story in my notes and summary and chapter title themes has been Broken by Lighthouse, but if you have a better lyric, COMMENT!  
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> With a broken heart...that's still beating...I'm falling apart...I'm barely breathing...
> 
>  
> 
> 3 comments guys, and the next chapter shall magically arrive :)  
> x


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